Can You Stand to See More?

I love to watch Clean House. I don't know how they do it - see the huge mess and not get overwhelmed. Maybe because they have each other to spur the process on. It's always painful to change and purge but so far I can only think of one really odd woman who hated the whole thing and wanted to go back to her mess.

At the end, when things are clean and the family has seen the first room and nearly fallen out from the transformation, the host - Niecy Nash - usually asks, "Can you STAND to see more?" I love seeing it every time. So that's my question to the world right now - Can you stand to see more?

I went looking at my old posts, worried that I has not written my prediction for the year thus having no proof of things to come. But I did! Whew! I did say something in my Dream Weaving post back in January. For more years than I know now for sure, I have been telling my friends - one in particular who lives in this weird world with me - what kind of year was ahead. I might say it in December. I might say it in January. I just wait for the feeling to strike and so far it has. Numbers play a role in this. Like 2007, for instance. 7 means completion, biblically speaking. Did anything finish for you in that year? And in 2008 we have new beginnings. I have a friend who asked, "Can a beginning be anything other than new?" Well, technically, I suppose not, but consider the times when you THOUGHT you had ended something and it came back. That would not be a new beginning. But when it is done, really done. That is the new. Anything new start up for you in 2008?

Then there is this year. The 9 is about judgment and finality. My own spin on it is that this is the year of life-altering changes. The kind of stuff that leaves you catching flies with your mouth. (Gross!) The kind of stuff you hoped for but never thought would happen. The kind of stuff you hoped would never happen but consequences must always be played out. There is no getting around it. So this is that kind of year where you reap what you sow and you better hope it was good stuff you sowed.

What's happened so far? Well, just look around you! Did you really predict icons like Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett dying on the same day? (By the way, this is one of the pictures of MJ that I prefer.) Ed McMahon earlier that week? I thought it was done because it was 3 after all but loads of people knew Billy Mays too (you know, the OxyClean guy?) and he was a shocker as well.

I have a friend whose husband sold a movie script. It had been a long time coming and she was truly hanging in by being the one with the job with the benefits and still doing her personal pursuits while cheering him on while he did his more theatrical ones, all while working wherever he could (he's not lazy, ya'll). And after who knows how long of giving his due, he finally got what he deserved and I can only imagine the life changes that will come out of this for them. I couldn't be more thrilled. I have another friend - the one who lives in this weird world of numbers with me - and her place of employment is undergoing major layoffs. She's not worried. She's been dealing with major injustice on said job for years and it's all coming to a head when? This year. I have a co-worker who just got engaged to another co-worker and I don't know if she saw it coming - because we all certainly watched it all happen (breakup included) and were still shocked to hear the news - but this certainly counts as a major change in her life this year.

I'm sure everyone has their story. Me? My irons are still in the fire and lots of stuff is still simmering but we have 6 months to go so I'm not worried. We've been building up the business to the major expo we are doing in September so that's where I'm looking for change, but this year has indeed been our best ever for the business and we are really happy about it. Overall, it's been fun just watching the stuff going on around me.

So what's the plan? What is it that you are still waiting to hear about? What is it that's happened to you this year that left you stunned in a good or bad way? What are you still praying about? There are still six precious months to go and that's a long time yet. Can you stand to see more?

Next Stop: Home

I'm having one of those days. Those days where I dream about what would be ideal to me - at least right now. After doing not a blessed thing on Saturday, I spent Sunday morning cleaning my refrigerator and doing at least 5 loads of laundry, all before we went to church. Then taking Mr. T out for a Father's Day dinner after which we came home, I washed Daughter's hair then spent all of He's Just Not That Into You and a little bit of the beginning of Madea Goes To Jail twisting her hair so I wouldn't have to do it for at least 2 weeks. All the while, another 6 or 7 loads of laundry were being done (last 2 were done this morning). I was tired but I felt accomplished too because I really like things to be in order around me.

Then this morning, I got up wishing I were already at work; wishing I could stay home to do whatever else I needed to do at home as it came up but I'm not the SAHM personality so it wouldn't be me being strictly a housewife, but me being a WAHM instead. What if I could focus on Village Works full time? What if I could take care of home too so no one's mess would drive me insane because I'd be there to manage it? Could we have another baby then? Hey, I may even be willing to cook! (But don't press your luck there.)

This morning, this last week of school, I watched the kids run to the bus stop and it was nice to think of Daughter leaving kindergarten soon and Son entering 4th grade next school year. They are such kids now, both of them. Son already has as much of a life as I will let him have at his age and Daughter is vying for her own too. And the more they have lives of their own, the more Mr. T and I can have one yet, for a brief moment, I thought to myself, "I wonder if Mr. T is ready for Tax Deduction #3." I could have asked him. He was right there in the house lounging around the bedroom watching the news. But I didn't want to know his answer. This isn't ideal. I don't want my business to have another maternity leave. It's had 2 already, between Bizzy Girl's and my 3 kids. It needs us to stick around this time. This time it would be way better if the job was my own business and I had to balance that proverbial baby and a real one. It would be much more doable and I wouldn't need to sacrifice nearly as much as if I had a job, a business and a new baby because the business would be the one to suffer.

A friend saw one of our recent puzzle jobs and told Bizzy Girl that we really need to be making the leap into doing this full-time. "You have so many ideas," he gushed. Yeah, we do and he's not the first to tell us this - friends, customers, acquaintances. It's also not the first time we thought of it. What it is, is the first time it's felt like a real possibility. But it wouldn't be easy to do. Mr. T is not the leaping sort and Bizzy Girl is a single mom so she has to leap with much forethought. The more people you are responsible for/to, the bigger your lifeboat needs to be. But if things got to a place where I could make that transition, and Bizzy Girl could have a serious PT income until she was ready to do the same, then you'd know we really worked hard to get it that way. We won't know until January just how far we've come but I don't need a map to tell me we've come miles in one year alone. Our destination has got to be just up ahead.

Baby's Got Bat

Or he was. It's over now. Baseball season is over. Son's team played their first playoff game on Sunday...and it was their last. They lost. After playing 13 games this season and losing 2 of those games, they became the team to beat. One of the coaches from another team was watching. We were watching. They tried. But the other team had a pretty good pitcher and they could barely hit the balls. What ya gonna do? One of their issues, to me, was how hard it was for them to pump themselves up until they were clearly in the lead. Then they could take the enthusiasm and run. I wished they could realize how much they had grown as a team. Sigh. I wanted so much for them to go all the way. They had had a great season. They deserved to go all the way. I may be more upset for them than they are! But Son wants to keep playing and that is a win for me as well as himself - one day. He continues to learn he can't win all the time and even though it's a great lesson, I'll be glad when the obligatory lesson is done and I can say, "Hey Son. It's NICE to win!" OK, I'll say it sooner rather than later. Because it IS nice. In the meanwhile, I'll patiently wait for the next season and see how that goes. See how Son grows. I'm happy that he at least doesn't give up on things he wants to do. He's quite the winner, you know.

It Takes One To Keep The Other's Mother From Going Insane

Last night as I talked on the phone with a friend of mine, Son kept coming at me with homework that he didn't understand and no matter what I said, he didn't get it. As usual he answered similar problems around it correctly but he just couldn't get one in particular. I didn't want to be frustrated anymore.

"Go to bed. You'll see it differently in the morning," I told him. I went back to my friend on the phone as Son went to bed. He was back a minute later. And kept coming back. Each time with the wrong answer.

"Son, you don't understand and you are not understanding me. I don't want to do this anymore and I don't want to get angry. Go to bed and look at it fresh in the morning."

He left.

Then came back. Repeatedly. Needless to say I was losing it and my friend, who experiences a lot of the same with her stepdaughter, chuckled. "He's back?"

"He won't quit!"

She knew my frustration with trying to figure out how to help without enabling him.

Tonight we found ourselves back on the subject of his homework. I was in my car talking to her after getting home from work, not quite ready to be plunged into homework hell.

"Oh that's right," I told her. "You don't know what the problem was because I was trying not to say too much last night." So I told her the problem he was struggling with at that time.

"The problem said '12 doughnuts make a dozen. You have 2 1/2 dozen doughnuts. How many doughnuts do you have?' " I further explained how he gave multiple answers but his very first answer had been 25. "Because of the 1 from the half, he told me. You know, the 1 from the top of the fraction?"

"He thought it was 25," she repeated.

"Yeah."

I heard her silent thinking. "Ohhh," she exclaimed. "He thought it was 1/2 of one doughnut and then half of another doughnut make one!" She laughed at her answer as she insisted that was it.

As I sat in confused silence, she kept laughing. "Girl, where the HECK did your brain just go to," I asked.

"I don't know! But that's how I think!" It's not off the wall. She and Son were both born in March. That little bit of info is not lost on me. She's heard me talk about his drama and she relates because she is dramatic too; we agreed she had drama down pat, but not in a negative way that annoys me. She just shows her emotions in a big way and she is one of the most genuine people I know. Hmm. So is he, when I think about it.

"Why," I asked. "Why did you think that? What does this mean? Why did you go off to some weird detail like that?"

She still couldn't explain it. "Go ask him," she insisted. "See what he says and call me back. I'm telling you that's what he thinks!"

"Fine. I'll call you back."

Never before have I been so enthused by the possibility of dealing with homework I can't effectively explain to him.

He was watching TV when I came in. As usual, homework was "all done except for a couple I need help with." But I was too anxious to deal with the new homework yet. "Did you get the answer to that question today?"

"Yes. My teacher told me."

"But remember you first thought it was 25? Why?"

"Because I thought it was one."

"One?"

"Well, you know, I thought it was half a doughnut," he explained as he drew half an invisible doughnut in the air. My eyes got big and I could barely talk from laughing.

"Wait. So you mean half a doughnut from one group and half a doughnut from the other group and you put them together and get one?"

"Umm hmm," he replied with a most serious look on his face.

"Oh my goodness," was all I could say.

"What?"

"My friend understands you." But he had no clue what I meant.

I called her back and told her the story. "He said what YOU said! What the heck am I supposed to do with this way of thinking?!"

"I don't know," she answered, cracking up at her accuracy. We laughed as we talked about just how very different we were and yet she and I understood each other perfectly from day one, which is why we always worked together so well. It gave me hope that I'd see his vision too one day.

So I tested my new understanding with the homework of the night.

"Ben has three pancakes and 2 sisters. He wants to give them each the same amount. How many pancakes do they each get?"

After first telling me that 3 wasn't an even number, with me responding that they absolutely can have an equal amount, he thought and brightened. "They have half?"

"Half? They each get half a pancake?" It wasn't odd that he was on the right track. He's always on the right track then goes wildly in some other direction.

"Nooo, three halfs."

"3/2? That's not the fraction, Son."

"No," he said again. "Three halfs," he explained. I knew it was going to be some skewed version of what was in my head so I waited. "You know, you take a stack of pancakes and cut them in half? Three halves."

All I could do was smile. After two more wrong answers - "Give them each one and I eat the other? Give them each one and throw the other away?" - I decided to draw a mental picture.

"Son, put three pancakes in your hands." He nodded.

"Sit the girls down at the table." He nodded.

"Give them each a pancake." He nodded.

"What's left?"

"One."

"Now what do you do?"

"Ohh! Cut it in half."

"What do you have?"

"A whole and a half."

And me? Maybe I get a whole new way to meet him halfway as we look for common ground. Thank God for friends who can help me bridge the gap.

The New Girl

The dawn of a new day - the day Daughter starts wearing glasses. It's not the glasses, though, but how much older it suddenly made her. It's still a little weird for me but as you can see, she's handling it like the new accessory it is - complete with cute blue eyeglass case.

Quick Update

• Been changing my photo all over the place and forgot to do it here. So I just did. See?
• Sunday, Son's team lost their second game evah. They are still winners to us. I'm sure we'll see ya'll at the playoffs!
• Daughter wants to be a cheerleader. God help me.
• Village Works is officially blogging because we kinda have to with all that's been going on. You can visit us here: Village Works Piece By Piece.
• It's a brand new month and a chance to try to do a ton more things. Including get our website redesign going AND a blog redesign. Oh yeah, baby. Time for a change there too.
  

Happy June everyone!

Batter's Up!

The Mets were losing 6 to 0 when I came in to watch the game. Son was in the dugout on a field they had never played before. One with proper stadium seating and lights on the field - and loads of gnats eating everyone alive.

"We're losing," he told me when he saw me standing above him.

"Eh. You were losing yesterday too and look how you guys came back in the end."

I'm not worried. It was game 7, I believe. And the Mets had only lost 1 game so far. But it's amazing how the self-esteem of children is a cup that has to be filled daily. Somehow it empties overnight then you have to fill it up all over again the next day. This was their third game this week because of rainouts the previous weeks. The game the night before was tense until the very end, but once they got the leg up, there was no stopping them.

It's actually way more interesting to watch than I anticipated. I had listened to the opposing coaches the first couple of games talk about stealing bases. The Mets were doing that so much - and winning by so much - that they risked embarrassing the losing team, so there was a moratorium declared on stealing bases. The Mets clearly knew how to steal bases but even I knew that if they wanted to get to championship level, they would have to do better than that. They would surely meet their stealing-bases equivalent one day and then what would happen?

But as time has gone on, I've watched them become better at hitting, retrieving the ball to get the other player out before he got to base, pitching and home runs - lots of home runs. You can see them working together more and more and it's pretty cool to see.

In this game, it was now Son's turn at bat. (That's my #3 below.) I called to him as he walked out. "Take chances, Son! You can do it!" He usually becomes a statue when he goes up to bat. Sure, he swings if it seems like he should, but otherwise birds could have mistaken him for a great landing spot.

Not this time.

His teammates called to him to swing for the good balls. His coach called to him to do what they practiced. I watched him bouncing up and down a little bit, emotionless as usual. The balls were mostly bad, fouls, enough so that he didn't strike out but he got to walk to first. That's cool. The next boy up was pretty good at hitting so they would be in a good place for sure.

Son's teammate swung, hit and sent the other team scrambling, their coach in a tizzy over all the fumbling and confusion. Son ran to second. Then third and we all watched the confusion continue.

"Run, Forest, run," Mr T. shouted.

The next thing I knew Son was home, his teammate on third and we parents were jumping up and down screaming in delight because they had done it again - they had come from behind and revved themselves up. They didn't need us anymore. They could cheer themselves on now but it was too late. We were all riled up too. Parents came out of the stands to watch over our little ballplayers. One coach's wife hugged on me as we watched. Another mom was wowing as she taped. A dad was reporting the scores to someone on his phone. We were cautious but excited, confirming with each other everything we were seeing to make sure we were all on the same page.

"Did you see your son," the hugger asked me excitedly. For once my ears weren't in overdrive driving to decipher her thick Spanish accent.

"Oh, I promise I did!" Mr. T was on the side of the field taking the pictures. Daughter was playing in the stands as usual but I had extra sets of eyes helping me track her constant comings and goings so I could focus on Son.

They played happily like the team they were. Mere minutes from the 2-hour mark at which they can stop playing. They were now 8 to 7 and their coach had declared them winners yet again.

Or were they? More confusion as our hopes to get out of the gnats were dashed. The other coach said something. The umpire said something. They had to play an extra 15 minutes? What?

We all looked at each other.

"Aw, they're just mad 'cause they lost!"

Whatever had happened, the game was not quite over and the batter for the other team was up.

I looked at the videotaping mom whose eyes got big. "Uh oh," we said to each other. This was the kid, if any kid could, who could knock that ball out of the park. If he hits and gets to home, we're tied. He hits but thankfully our boys are quick and he is out before he starts.

We erupt in relief. This was their best player. Surely the Mets would be able to hold off anyone coming in after him. And so they did - and won for the second time that evening.

This is where I am, my friends. Village Works is doing tons of vending, creating new cards and preparing for future events. Of course my job continues to be nonstop action and Son's cub scout activities continue, though they wrap up this week as he becomes a Webelo 1. (Yes!) But in between all this movement, I am watching Son play with his team, winning game after game, coming back from far behind or taking the lead and never letting go. We're freezing out there most times, being eaten by bugs other times, but somehow we're never bored by this 2-hour display of amateur athleticism.

I can't think of a better way to spend my time, watching my son realize that he can do something and have such a big impact on everyone around him. It's truly awe-inspiring.

5 Relearned Lessons in Customer Service

The past month has been an interesting lesson in customer service. People we have worked with in a business-to-business capacity for months or years suddenly had all kinds of unfortunate circumstances befall them or have had good things happen to them that takes up their time. All of these people were small business owners, just like us. We have loved the work of these people in the past. We have praised them to the hilt to others. We know this is just a bump in their road and they won't lose our business because of these setbacks, but it doesn't change the fact that this time around we were less than thrilled with something they did or did not do. The common denominator? Communication.

The circumstances were illnesses and machinery failure and increase in workload. We have also dealt with people in the past on a very limited basis because of this same thing - lack of clear communication. We weren't feeling heard, let alone understood. We were feeling like they came to the table with preconceived notions and even after discussing things, we weren't getting what we expected. The main offender of this last situation worked with us for about 2 or 3 months and we had to let him go. It was crazy how I would say, "Do X" and he would come back to me asking, "What do you want to do?" or worse, I would say, "I need you to do things 1, 2, 3 and 4" and he'd come back - very late - with things 1 and 4 done but nary a word about the middle two, as if I hadn't said them at all. That shows you really don't listen or read, and you are not acting like you care. I give really detailed emails, folks. Usually I know exactly what I want and I don't have time or desire to re-explain things. I like to work with people with a certain amount of intuition about my wants and need and loads of self-initiative but it's not easy to find these qualities.

These events formed a huge reminder for my business partner and me. We don't want people to think these things of Village Works. It has occurred to me after these recent experiences that maybe there is a lesson here for us to focus on for the sake of our own business and growing customer base. Basically it is this: Talk your customers at every stage of the game and talk to them directly and honestly. Blogging and newsletters to communicate some major things that affects lots of people is great, but if you are going to be late getting Mr. Smith's job done because of something beyond your control, just tell Mr. Smith the truth. He may be able to even extend your deadline. He may not care and will just say thanks for letting him know. He may walk away and then you know what you have? Less stress and more time for your other customers.

So this is what we know about customer service and communicating with customers, but have relearned and it is sticking with us all the more:

1 - Be the doctor. I took a psych class in college and have rudimentary understanding of the field so bear with me. But as I recall, one of the differences between a psychiatrist and a psychologis, is that psychiatrists generally work with people who are not quite aware of what their issues are so they help diagnosis the illness so they can begin to find solutions. Psychologists are generally working with people who know their problem but still need help solving it. Figure out which you need to be and do that, but in order to do either one, guess what? You have to listen to your customer first! Remember that it's really not about what you can do for your customer initially. First you want to know what your customer wants you to do for them. Let them exhaust their list. Maybe you know something won't work but I believe they will listen more readily if they feel like you first heard their desires and, like any good relationship, you have said back, "This is what I am hearing. Am I understanding you correctly?" After that, you can bring out what you have to say. Hey, maybe even wait for a second meeting which gives everyone the chance to think about things and come back to the table fresh.

2 - Stay in touch. Small businesses really need to take this heart. You don't want to appear small or unable to do a job. But most people just want to work with people they like and feel they can trust. Size really doesn't matter - usually. But what happens when you, the small business owner, get sick or go on vacation? You don't want to lose business but I would like to suggest to you that it is better to say you are sick and will be back to work in X days/weeks than to not say anything at all or pass everything on to someone else without your customer's knowledge. It really all depends on how you normally work and what your customer has become used to. If you are going to stray from the norm, let them know. Auto messages, recorded away messages, emails, whatever you need to let them know what is going on. I believe you will gain their respect and continued loyalty. I know you would have mine. It takes a lot of work to find the right service providers. Why would I walk away so easily?

3 - Be a giver. For Village Works, part of what we enjoy doing is not just doing the job you expect from us. We try to always add a little personal touch to the job that is truly specific to the job or person for whom the job is being done. Special packaging for the products, a few extra items added in because we figured there may be some unexpected need. We do what comes to our hearts at that time and create something we'd personally enjoy receiving or giving. The customer isn't expecting it. It's part of how we under promise and over deliver and we enjoy the surprise of doing things that way. This works for us. It may not work for others but then again, who doesn't like a little coupon with their purchase or some kind of discount just for referring a new customer? We at Village Works think about what we'd like to see or receive and do no less than not just what the customer wants, but what we know would make it something we'd be proud to have for ourselves.

4 - Do unto customers as you would want done unto you. I think I've said this in a few different ways already above. Just put yourself in your customer's shoes for a brief moment. I know you can do it because you most likely already feel like something isn't quite right or you are feeling a little guilty about some part of the communication you are having with the customer. Or maybe you are beginning to feel annoyed by that customer's persistence but what are they bugging you about? Is it the same question of when, when, when or how, how, how or please call me? It may be time to go back to Number 1 - figure out what their issue is and help them solve it by simply talking to them.

5 - Even if there is a parting of ways, give your best service. Sometimes things just don't work out. But I can tell you from a customer's point of view that just because the fit is no longer right for us, or wasn't right enough to work with you in the first place, doesn't mean we won't recommend you. My business partner and I are huge believers in telling others about our positive experiences strictly so others will benefit. We enjoy doing it! But we won't hesitate to talk about the shoddy experiences too. You have to remember that my leaving doesn't necessarily mean I won't be back and it also doesn't mean I won't send customers your way. My leaving isn't always a reflection on you so give us your best service at all times because you just never know what we'll say or do for you. Don't underestimate our ability to help you grow.

As businesses, I think we need to remember that we are customers too and stepping in that role when dealing with our own customers can be helpful to all involved. If we wouldn't appreciate being treated a certain way, should our customers feel any less?